There are at times…days…moments…seconds…that I feel like I am in a state of warfare with and for my children. What type of warfare you may ask? SPIRITUAL WARFARE. I think that in some way, shape or form, we are all battling for our children’s souls. I’ve prayed with many a mother whose child went wayward. The pain and agony of the mother for her child is real. The only thing a mama can do is throw herself down on her knees and cry out to Abba and ask a few prayer warriors to join in with her.
Some of my children have wounds that run deep, like Grand Canyon deep! They are wounds from birth families…wounds from multiple placements…wounds that are just grounded in rejection. It is a spiritual battlefield. Satan attacking with flame lit arrows that are aimed right towards the heart of the orphaned child. You see Satan is a liar. The orphaned child’s heart is an easy target. There are trust issues. Can I say that again? There are trust issues. When the orphaned heart has heard so many lies, they begin to believe them.
Because the heart is so fragile, I have to be the one prepared to go to battle for this child. The mother is the nurturer or is supposed to be the nurturer. But because of past rejection and lack of being nurtured, the child tends to pull away from the mom. Satan will whisper lies to their precious hearts. Then the child begins to shoot those flaming arrows at the mom. Sometimes the child will try what is called triangularization. Child loves dad and turns dad against mom. It’s a classic tale. But if you are up on it, you can nip it in the bud right away. I don’t think it happens in reverse order as often, but it can.
So how do I prepare for this battle? I put the Belt of Truth around my waist.
“Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life. (John 5:24 NASB).
I like the way The Message translation says it:
“It’s urgent that you listen carefully to this: Anyone here who believes what I am saying right now and aligns himself with the Father, who has in fact put me in charge, has at this very moment the real, lasting life and is no longer condemned to be an outsider. This person has taken a giant step from the world of the dead to the world of the living. (John 5:24 MSG).
You see, Satan can’t have the upper hand on me. I know the Truth and I know that With God by my side, I will be able to defeat Satan. Easy? No! But I know Truth. I know that it is urgent that I listen carefully. That I know truth.
Second, I put on the Breastplate of Righteousness. God’s righteousness gives me the strength to do God’s will.
And He saw that there was no man,
And was astonished that there was no one to intercede;
Then His own arm brought salvation to Him,
And His righteousness upheld Him. He put on righteousness like a breastplate,
And a helmet of salvation on His head;
And He put on garments of vengeance for clothing
And wrapped Himself with zeal as a mantle. (Isaiah 59:16, 17 NASB)
I have to ask God to make my paths straight so that I might walk in His righteousness. I know that if I draw near to my God that He will guide my footsteps. I will fall. I will make mistakes, but God will be right there to pick me up!
The steps of a man are established by the LORD,
And He delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong,
Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand. (Psalm 37:23, 24 NASB)
I have to be armed with my Shield of Faith! I must believe in God’s truths. Satan wants me to believe the lies. And believe me, the lies can pour out of the mouths of the orphaned child. Everything that has been fed into him will come pouring back out onto you. Satan will take these moments to make you doubt, to make you fear, to make you question your very being. They will attack who you are as a person, who you are as a mother and who you are as a child of God. But when I am armed with my Shield of Faith, I will be able to hold it up with strength knowing that I stand on a solid foundation. Knowing that I am who God says I am.
Finally I am armed with the Sword of the Spirit…the Word of God!
“Listen, for I will speak noble things;
And the opening of my lips will reveal right things. “For my mouth will utter truth;
And wickedness is an abomination to my lips. (Proverbs 8:6, 7 NASB)
If I am in the Word daily, I will draw near to Him. He will guide me through His Word and the Holy Spirit will whisper to my heart.
Now that I am fully armed I am prepared for the battlefield of my child’s soul. No, this is not an over exaggeration. This is a battle. The wounds are real. The child wants so badly to come to the Light, but the power of the Darkness is so strong, the lies are so real. It’s not a game. It is real life. How do you convince a child that you really mean it when you say you are their forever parent. It takes a lot of consistency; a lot of reassuring; a lot of diving into the Word; a lot of down on your knees heart wrenching prayers; and a lot of being still and listening for the Hoy Spirit.
The journey is gut wrenching. It’s tough. Buckets of tears will be shed. But if I’ve prepared myself each day for this battle, I will begin to slowly cause the enemy to retreat. There are days when I am retreating. But then I get my grounds, recoup, and come back strong.
Give ear to my words, O LORD,
Consider my groaning. Heed the sound of my cry for help, my King and my God,
For to You I pray. In the morning, O LORD, You will hear my voice;
In the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch. For You are not a God who takes pleasure in wickedness;
No evil dwells with You. The boastful shall not stand before Your eyes;
You hate all who do iniquity. You destroy those who speak falsehood;
The LORD abhors the man of bloodshed and deceit. But as for me, by Your abundant lovingkindness I will enter Your house,
At Your holy temple I will bow in reverence for You. O LORD, lead me in Your righteousness because of my foes;
Make Your way straight before me. There is nothing reliable in what they say;
Their inward part is destruction itself.
Their throat is an open grave;
They flatter with their tongue. Hold them guilty, O God;
By their own devices let them fall!
In the multitude of their transgressions thrust them out,
For they are rebellious against You. But let all who take refuge in You be glad,
Let them ever sing for joy;
And may You shelter them,
That those who love Your name may exult in You. For it is You who blesses the righteous man, O LORD,
You surround him with favor as with a shield. (Psalm 5:1-12 NASB)
Without the relationship with God and the Holy Spirit, a strong marriage, and a strong support system of prayer warriors, this battle could not be fought. I have to look at each child individually. What works with one probably won’t work with the other. Wisdom. Discernment. A heart that is willing to listen for the nudgings of the Holy Spirit. It can be done.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9 NASB)
Many have lost this battle, only to find hope through another family. Some push through it only to get the kids to adulthood. Some are able to walk the full journey to watch the complete process from egg to catapillar to cocoon, metamorphosis, to the emergence of a beautiful butterfly. I don’t have all the answers. I do offer hope in whatever battle you may be dealing with at this moment for the child who is on the battlefield. Don’t ever give up hope. Stay strong to the course. God will guide you and give you direction.
My husband and I have walked the walk. We have seen God do some of the most amazing healings. We have walked some of our kids through a complete transformation. It took time as layers were slowly pealed back, trust was built, hearts were reshaped. I couldn’t allow myself to get a hard heart. I had to realize that the attacks weren’t personnel. The attacks were from deeply rooted wounds that took place long before I ever new my child. I was just the punching bag and still am. I have to depend on renewed strength each and every morning. It is my responsibility to fill myself up with God’s Word. It is my responsibility to pray without ceasing.
So yes there are times…days…moments…seconds that I feel like I’m on the battlefield, but it is a battle that is worth fighting. I have a houseful of the most precious gifts to prove that!